-
Captain Fred Reeger - Captain of the SS
Miss B Haven Captain Fred is a quirky
guy who is really into taxidermy. He has
a stuffed parrot named Squiggins on his
shoulder which he talks to on a
consistent basis. No one is sure if this
is just a put-on or if he really thinks
the parrot can hear him. The captain
acts as the law enforcement officer when
the murder takes place.
-
Trixie Bright - Cruise Director Trixie
keeps the play moving from scene to
scene. She is also instrumental in
several events that take place
throughout the play.
-
Tommy
Tucker - Just Married to Annette Tucker
Tommy is on his honeymoon with Annette
(Nettie). Tommy knows that Nettie has a
passion for Kansas Montana. When he
booked the cruise, he didn't know that
Kansas was to be the entertainment.
-
Annette (Nettie) Tucker - Just Married
to Tommy Tucker When planning her
honeymoon with Tommy, Nettie
conveniently left out the promotional
materials concerning Kansas Montana, the
entertainment on the cruise. She is
obsessed with Kansas - even more than
Tommy realizes!
-
Vicki
Meyer - Tommy Tucker's Former Girlfriend
Tommy and Nettie do not realize that
Vicki is booked on the cruise. Using
various disguises, Vicki's goal is plain
and simple - to make Nettie's honeymoon
as uncomfortable as possible. She tries
everything she can think of but fails
miserably each time. By the end of the
cruise, she is a complete mass of
injuries including broken bones, a rash,
a poisoning and soaked to the core after
trying to push Nettie overboard and
ending up overboard herself!
-
Kansas Montana - A Nightclub Singer and
Elvis Presley Wanna-Be Kansas considers
himself to be the second coming of Elvis
and expects to be treated that way. He
is full of himself and treats everyone,
especially his own doo-wop girls,
horribly.
-
Daisea Lampkin - One of Kansas Montana's
Backup Singers The long-suffering Doo-Wop
Girls have just about had it with Kansas
Montana. They have secretly vowed that
this will be the last time they work
with Kansas. She finds Captain Fred
extremely attractive.
-
Erica
Martin - One of Kansas Montana's Backup
Singers Another member of the Doo-Wop
Girls, Erica is in love with Kansas. She
breaks her engagement with another man
to be with Kansas, but now Kansas
ignores her. She eventually vows that
she will get him back, somehow.
-
Elroy
Cushenberry - Father of the Cushenberry
Clan Elroy is married to Liza Jane. They
won this trip from a coupon inside the
label of a can of sardines. They are
backwoods country bumpkins who are
impressed with everything they see. The
Cushenberry's are a close, Bible-believin'
family.
-
Liza
Jane Cushenberry - Mother of the
Cushenberry Clan Married to Elroy.
-
Ellie
Mae Cushenberry - Daughter
-
Roy
Boy Cushenberry - Oldest Son
-
Boy
Roy Cushenberry - Youngest Son
-
Members of the Audience - to read roles
of Chief Security Officer and Ship's
Doctor
